• PAGE ONE
• INDEX
• HOME

Personal magnetism

B. S. Raghavan

HOW WE envy persons endowed with an appeal that instantly predisposes people towards them! That kind of personal magnetism has nothing to do with being well-groomed, personable, beautiful or physically attractive, although it certainly helps. Mahatma Gan dhi was often likened to Micky Mouse, especially by cartoonists. The magic of his name held, and even today holds, the whole of India and the world in thrall.

It is likely that no selection panel would have chosen the late Aristotle Onassis, the Greek shipping magnate, as the world's most handsome person, and, indeed, many were shocked when Jacqueline Kennedy, the wife of the assassinated US President John F. Kennedy, married him. She kept all the sceptics at bay, by enthusiastically expatiating on the irresistible charm of her second husband.

Among public figures in India, Swami Vivekananda, Jawaharlal Nehru and J. R. D. Tata immediately come to mind as possessing the kind of luminescence that cast its spell on all those who came into contact with them. Among the younger persons too, a Vishwa nathan Anand or a Mandelin Srinivas can dominate an assembly by their very presence.

From the examples I have given, one need not be led into thinking that personal magnetism is necessarily or exclusively an attribute of only leaders who tower over others in various walks of life. It is a matter of common experience that ordinary persons whom one comes across in day-to-day life are also found to be captivating with their winning manners and sterling qualities.

One of the frequently asked questions is whether the charm that so obviously enhances one's likeability is natural and inborn, or whether it can be acquired and cultivated. The answer, of course, is that it is both. The lucky ones are born with it, but t he rest need not despair on that score.

By constantly practising self-introspection, or swadhyay, as India's ancient sages called it, it is possible for each one of us to make a tally of the positive and negative aspects of our personality. The first step is for us to become attractive in our own eyes. An essential prerequisite is to put in the necessary efforts to reinforce the positive and reduce, if not remove, the negative, so that the first impression we create is favourable, as a person with a genial, friendly and responsive temperament . Surprisingly, this is achieved by simple things: A ready smile, the capacity and willingness to listen, volunteering to help, and generally reaching out to bond with other human beings in a spirit of genuine affection, empathy and consideration.

The more difficult part is to rid oneself of base and corrosive tendencies such as pettiness, prejudice, conceit, anger, jealousy and proneness to violence. All these demean one's personality and create revulsion in people's minds.

It is not as if charm is some airy-fairy stuff of no relevance to quotidian existence. It goes a long way not only to sweeten human relations, but also to achieve the desired objectives in whatever one undertakes in whatever capacity, whether at home or in the workplace. As such, going all out to ``ooze charm'' will prove profitable on all counts.