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Wednesday, Apr 23, 2003

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Sleeping trucks & walking racks

D. Murali

IT is unusual for something meant to move to be standing, as much as what is supposed to be standing is not expected to be moving. However, we have by now got used to non-moving trucks and lorries just lolling around. But there are many in the suburbs of Chennai, according to some reports, who have got used to their steel almirahs walking by.

A story in the vernacular press talks about how one night, Mr Fear Unlimited woke up in the middle of his sleep and found that his `bureau' was taking a walk. "That must be the ghost," he told himself, and pulled the sheet close and full, in utter fear. Only the next morning did he find that somebody had stolen the bureau, lock stock and barrel.

He is not alone, they say, because there are others who have had their `bureaus' stolen that way and the rumour is that this is all the handiwork of `bureau-pulling' Babu, though nobody knows whether Babu is one chap or a whole gang.

We had one season that was devoted to the monkey man, and one for the milk-drinking Ganesha, so why not a notorious Babu this time? This distracts everybody's attention from who is getting arrested under POTA and when somebody is getting out on bail. Also, this takes the public mind away from common problems such as erratic power or broken roads, insufficient water or corrupt administration, high prices or low wages.

When accountants act as value-magicians, or netas behave as street fighters, it is best to keep those who would be affected by all misdeeds away from creating any fresh trouble or being caught in the crossfire. Just as a box office hit movie on the telly empties roads of traffic, an intriguing crime story puts everybody on a different wavelength.

So, we can soon expect more escapades such as: `Cell-chewing Chokkan' who would engage his victims in small talk, moving his jaws all the while with some gum or whatever, and after he goes you would find that your mobile handset is missing; or a `Chatty-Naughty' who, as you would guess, finds his targets through chat sessions. On the highways, there could be the `Tyre Basker' who throws sharp nails on the road that refuse to work on walls and when you end up with a flat tyre, he pounces on you to rob you of your belongings.

What is widely seen, they say, is the `9-9 squeezer' who specialises in getting people work hard and harder, more and more for long hours. But that last one could be your boss, so watch out.

SayCheek@hotmail.com

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