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D. Murali

LAST week, the DCA secretary was in town, even as Parliament was `in session'. His packed schedule was tailing off, before he was to proceed to Delhi. Evening meeting was with company secretaries who are normally sticklers to detail and adherents to agendas. Mr Vinod Dhall too came to business quickly, and spoke of how at times urgent issues elicited a delayed response, the need for guidance on audit committees, directors' responsibilities, and so on. There was, however, only one thing that struck me as odd — getting the visiting dignitary to release the newsletter. I understand that the publication had been resurrected from more than a year's coma and that it was a matter for celebration as such. But the fact remains that chief guests (CG) often end up doing not-so-important jobs.

To know more, I went to the airport lobby where many CGs hang out and asked whether the practice was okay.

"We have no option," one said. "The show must go on."

"You don't expect us to pick up an argument," another protested. "In front of everybody, and standing on the dais. Life in a fishbowl is difficult, you know."

"I can't forget how I was asked to lay the foundation stone for a new branch building,' said a heavyweight. `The mason had not come and I had to do the plastering, working at it for almost an hour. And everybody kept applauding how good I was at the task."

"Normally I don't mind ribbon-cutting," a VIP confessed. "Problem starts when somebody comes up and wants me to cut the red-tape in my office."

"I avoid CA functions," another announced. "They keep scratching the back too hard."

"Can't forget how once a 500-strong audience didn't proceed with the buffet lunch till I joined them," a chief said. "They wanted me to serve everybody their first morsel."

"That was decent, chef," a CG said. "The organiser of one of my meetings slid into a new Nike and was adamant that I tie the laces."

"Not bad," another said. "I had to pull the zipper for my host's trousers."

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